My Radioactive Renaissance, A Mutants Tale

Posted in America’s, Asia, Global News, Reflets Sombres with tags , , , on March 27, 2011 by buffalohair

After all the hype about the shower of radioactive death that would rain in my region of the planet I had some concerns. I was well aware that I was already exposed to plenty of radiation in my earlier years. Other than a few anomalous growths and an overwhelming desire to drink human blood I weathered my contamination quite well actually. I am comfortable in knowing that I am forever genetically altered and that my DNA double helix more resembles a wad of used chewing gum on chop sticks. Since I could not possibly escape the radioactive plume I decided to make the most of it. OK so our environment will have more ambient radiation than before and more cancers will evolve that coincidentally resembles radiation sickness. But for all the concerns for the ill effects of radiation exposure I really want to know if I can micro-wave a pizza outside during a nuclear event. A coronal mass ejection would be ideal with all them big juicy gamma and x-rays flying all around. And if the magnetosphere is absent on that day it’s the CME Cha Cha, beam me up Scotty. But I guess it does not matter where I am when one of them puppies explodes. So I was just thinking; I’m going to be all contaminated anyway so why not have a super power?

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2 thoughts on “My Radioactive Renaissance, A Mutants Tale

  1. Wow, this satire just made it all hit home with me!

    Worry about GMO Foods? Getting clean drinking water, packing a backpack, survival, finding wild foods? What a laugh!

    In one fell swoop! Who knew that this poison was going to be falling from the sky? Making this all like a Sunday’s Funny Pages.

    It changes every thing! Yes, My Radioactive Renaissance, A Mutants Tale!

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